Understanding Your Trauma Response: Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn
You’ve probably heard the terms trauma, trauma-informed, PTSD, or trauma response floating around in conversations or on social media. And maybe you’ve heard about the “fight, flight or freeze” reactions—sometimes even “fawn” is added to that list. But if you're like many people, you might still be wondering what these responses really look like in everyday life.
So let’s break it down with an example.
A Regular Day, Interrupted
Imagine you're leaving your favourite mall with a few close friends after a relaxing afternoon. As you approach your car, someone is standing nearby—agitated, pacing, and suddenly starts yelling at you. They’re calling you names and verbally attacking you, seemingly out of nowhere.
This moment may not involve physical harm, but it can still be traumatic.
Why? Because it was unexpected. It overwhelmed your nervous system. And chances are, you’ll remember it the next time you’re in a similar situation—maybe even scanning the parking lot a little more closely than before.
Now, let’s imagine how each of your friends might react to that scenario. Each of their responses tells a story of how their nervous system learned to keep them safe.
FIGHT
Your friend Frank tenses up and steps forward, ready to confront the person yelling. His body is tight, his voice sharp. He grew up in a household where shouting was common, and he learned that fighting back was the only way to feel in control and safe.
FLIGHT
Hazel doesn’t say a word—she just bolts. She jumps into the car and locks the door. Conflict terrifies her. Her history includes emotional bullying at work, and her brain has learned that escaping is the safest option.
FREEZE
Ariana stops in her tracks. She physically cannot move. Her mind blanks, and her body feels cold and stiff. When she was younger, freezing helped her survive a traumatic experience. Now, in high-stress moments, her nervous system still chooses stillness as the best way to stay safe.
FAWN
And then there’s you. Maybe you find yourself moving toward the angry person, trying to calm them down, say the right thing, or apologize—even though you did nothing wrong. You learned that pleasing others was the best way to prevent harm. This is the fawn response: putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own in hopes of defusing a threat.
Why Does This Matter?
None of these reactions are wrong or weak. They're automatic survival strategies. Your nervous system is doing its best to protect you, based on past experiences. But over time, these responses can start to affect your relationships, work life, and sense of self—especially if you’re stuck in them.
As a trauma-informed therapist in Surrey, BC, I help people understand their own patterns and begin to shift them. Together, we explore how these responses show up in your life today—and how you can start to build new ways of feeling safe, grounded, and in control.
Healing Is Possible
Working with a therapist means learning how to:
Recognize your default trauma response
Reconnect with your needs, boundaries, and voice
Build relationships that feel safe and respectful
Care for yourself in ways that support long-term healing
If you’re curious about how trauma might be affecting your life—or you’re simply tired of feeling stuck—I’m here to help.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Ready to begin? Contact me today to book a session and start your healing journey.
Lisa Catallo is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Surrey, BC. She offers trauma-informed therapy and supports individuals looking to build authentic, healthy relationships with themselves and others.
